As I begin...

Help Me to Believe in Beginnings
by Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace


God of history and of my heart,
so much has happened to me during these whirlwind days:
I've known death and birth;
I've been brave and scared;
I've hurt, I've helped;
I've been honest, I've lied;
I've destroyed, I've created;
I've been with people, I've been lonely;
I've been loyal, I've betrayed;
I've decided, I've waffled;
I've laughed and I've cried.
You know my frail heart and my frayed history -
and now another day begins.

O God, help me to believe in beginnings
and in my beginning again,
no matter how often I've failed before.

Help me to make beginnings:
to begin going out of my weary mind
into fresh dreams,
daring to make my own bold tracks
in the land of now;
to begin forgiving
that I may experience mercy;
to begin questioning the unquestionable
that I may know truth
to begin disciplining
that I may create beauty;
to begin sacrificing
that I may make peace;
to begin loving
that I may realize joy.

Help me to be a beginning to others,
to be a singer to the songless,
a storyteller to the aimless,
a befriender of the friendless;
to become a beginning of hope for the despairing,
of assurance for the doubting,
of reconciliation for the divided;
to become a beginning of freedom for the oppressed,
of comfort for the sorrowing,
of friendship for the forgotten;
to become a beginning of beauty for the forlorn,
of sweetness for the soured,
of gentleness for the angry,
of wholeness for the broken,
of peace for the frightened and violent of the earth.

Help me to believe in beginnings,
to make a beginning,
to be a beginning,
so that I may not just grow old,
but grow new
each day of this wild, amazing life
you call me to live
with the passion of Jesus Christ.

Water-logged, and ready for adventure!

My travels to Boston were welcomed with a first day of sunshine, followed by a second and third day of torrential rain and the percussion of tree branches playing on the window pane. All of which I responded to with a smile :)

I love rain.  How perfect to be blessed with a clean washing, over a new city!

Moving to Boston a week ago, I knew my life was writing its next chapter.  Graduate School.  Five years of pause in my academic career have left me wondering if my grammar/structure book is out-of-date, trying to prepare myself for reading assignments while taking the T to and from my quaint little village into the big city that will extend my knowledge of faith and fellowship, and attempting to balance the real-world needs to earn an income while still making time to adequately fill my brain with, and understand, as much information as possible.

Woah.  Nap time and snack, anyone? :)
I remember kindergarten... Mrs. McMillan, the reading corner, Santa Clause, the simplicities of being a small child.  Fast forward 22 years, and here I am.  I still take naps, I still eat snacks... and still regularly try to enjoy the simplicities of life.

I'm really excited to be here.  I am hopeful for the doors God will open through these new experiences, and where those doors will lead in the future. I am grateful for the new friends/house mates I have that have made the transition to Auburndale a bit more smooth and reassuring.

Expectations I have?
* late night theological discussions, involving coffee and deep breathing
* nooks and crannies that harbor my favorite alone-time spots
* friends in all stages of life
* opportunities to grow, serve, learn, mess up, trust and live

I regularly don't live as God calls me to.
I'm hoping to do better at this...